rubinc in nyc!

Today marks the halfway point of my first year of teaching, and, perhaps more importantly, the first day I have actually enjoyed what I do - not just for a few minutes here and there, but for the whole day. To be fair, I spent the day on a field trip to Sony Wonder with a group of the best-behaved kids, and unlike our last field trip I wasn’t throwing up, but it was just so fun. The kids were…kids! They were sweet and happy and so excited about all of the cool stuff we saw. When we ate lunch they all wanted to give me some of their chips and candy, and when we saw a smoking manhole they asked me if it was smoking because there was dry ice down there (they actually learned something from dry ice day!), and at one point they spontaneously started having a science bee and quizzing each other on the stuff we learned in our last unit. I think I finally get why people stay with this job, and why it’s worth working so hard to get better at it - I hope there are many more days like this in the second half of the year, and not just on a field trips.

Also, Ms. L accidentally stumbled across a treasure trove of our kids on youtube. Apparently filming yourself getting light and posting it on the internet is a popular pasttime, and while I can’t post any of my photos/videos of kids online, I feel like it is okay for me to link to ones that they have posted themselves. I really like the one I linked because the first kid is the one that I call Tareque, and he just looks so happy! If only I could figure out a way to harness that energy towards his academics… Anyway, once you see that one you can click around the related videos and go nuts watching what I see at recess every day.

For the month of January I’ve had a TFA intern of sorts - Ms. Go, a junior at MIT who is interested in maybe joining TFA after she graduates, though God knows why she’s even still considering it after all the stuff she’s witnessed this month. TFA is really trying to step up their recruitment of math and science majors, which are harder to convince to join because, unlike English majors, they have other, better job offers. Part of their MIT campaign involves sending potential recruits to live and work with current TFAers for the January Independent Activities Period, which is sort of dangerous because I don’t think I would have joined if I had spent a month in a classroom like mine. I was also nervous about the prospect of having a total stranger come live and work with me for a month, because if she didn’t wash her dishes, I would have probably had a nervous breakdown.

But it turns out that Ms. Go is basically the best ever, and for the past month has done everything from grading to data tracking to running errands to using MIT’s money to buy me school supplies. Also, she’s way neater than my regular roommate, and super nice to boot. I have been noticing that slight, post-Christmas upswing in my feelings about teaching that the graph I posted awhile ago predicted, but I sort of think it’s all because of Ms. Go, and when she leaves after tomorrow I’m going to fall back into the pit of grading/planning/photocopying despair that I was in all last semester. Maybe I can convince her to take a semester off and stay here…

On a completely unrelated note, Tareque - who continues to oscillate between eagerly trying his best and angrily flipping desks and screaming - approached me out of nowhere today, exclaimed “Ms. Rubin, if you put a snake in a jar it will grow legs! I read it in a book,” and ran away.  Weird.

Firstly, while it is somewhat embarrassing that it took me five months to figure this out, I finally learned how to access scantrons and the scantron machine at my school. Goodbye, five hours of grading after every test! I feel like I’m teaching in the future.

Secondly, my school recently got a $25,000 grant to buy science supplies, and as the science department, Ms. L and I went on a massive shopping spree today after school. Remember when I said it was sort of sad that I now get really excited about overhead transparencies? Well, at various points in the afternoon, Ms. L and I were squealing over hot items like these:

That last one is a bell in a vacuum kit, so I can convince them that sound won’t travel without air by doing more than just telling them that “in space no one can hear you scream.”

Lastly, now I’m a math teacher. Sort of. Now that the big ELA test is over, everyone has shifted their panic to the math test in March. Apparently the powers that be realized that it will be impossible to cover all the seventh grade math standards before the test, so they’ve deputized me to teach all the math standards about measurement, since it’s vaguely science-y. Basically, I have to teach them how to convert between various units (which is annoying because after my huge “SCIENTISTS ONLY USE METRIC” rant at the beginning of the year now I have to teach them stuff about customary measurements) and how to esitmate the mass/dimensions/volume of various objects. I don’t really mind because these are useful things to be teaching them, and probably more important in the long term than the rock cycle. However, I did not realize how different teaching math would be than teaching science is. It’s teaching a skill instead of a concept, and it’s hard. I was also completely shocked to see how different some kids are in math - I’ve always thought of math and science as related, but I had kids who ace everything in science struggling to convert from feet to inches, and kids who are completely clueless in science solving the problems before I finished reading them and demanding that I give them something hard. I guess it’s a self-esteem boost for the kids who struggle in science to have me see them do well with something, but I think some of the kids who excel in science are embarassed that I’m seeing them not be good at something. As one kid rather dramatically put it, “I come to science to get away from math, now what do I have to look forward to in my life?!”

I got a surprise phone call sixth period today to let me know that I had to take my next period class to the auditorium to get their class photo taken. Their homeroom teacher also came down so she could be in the photo, but since I don’t have a home room class I ended up spending pretty much the entire time sitting in the corner watching kids get their pictures taken. And by “entire time,” I mean an hour and a half - we spent the entire double period waiting for the other classes to get their photos taken, collecting and sorting the picture forms from the kids whose parents wanted photos, trying to arrange the kids in such a way that they all fit in the picture and were visible, but no enemies were standing next to each other and fighting. Now one of my classes is two periods behind because of a photo that a grand total of THREE of them even ordered a copy of. At times like this I really wish I taught at a charter school.

The only good thing about the picture day fiasco was that because I wasn’t responsible for any particular group of kids, I got to just walk around the room and talk to random kids one on one. As much as some kids can be terrors when they are in the classroom trying to impress their friends, almost all of my kids are really sweet and fun to talk to on an individual basis. I spent about 20 minutes chatting with Shadasia, who can drive me crazy in class with her constant need to be the center of attention (once she loudly tried to “pause” me with an imaginary remote so she wouldn’t get behind in her notes while she sharpened her pencil), but is awesome one on one because she is pretty hilarious. She reminds me of those super-charismatic kids who have their own shows on the Disney Channel, I feel like I would totally watch “That’s So Shadasia” or “iShadasia.” But today I was shocked to learn that as outgoing and fun as she is, she apparently still has all the fun self-esteem issues of a typical twelve year old: she actually refused to get into her class photo because “I’m the only girl in my class who has a roll across my tummy when I sit down” (she is kind of chubby, but she’s definitely not fat and I think she’s pretty adorable). Here’s an excerpt from our conversation:

Shadasia: I don’t want to get up on the stage for the picture because those girls (points to popular girls from another class, also waiting for their class picture) will talk about how I look.

Me: Why do you care what they say? I know what students say about me and how I look all day, but do you think I care? Do you think I go home and worry because some random person doesn’t like my outfit or my hair?

Shadasia: Yeah, but you’re an adult. I’m still a kid, and so those kids’ opinions still matter to me. I’m not that mature yet.

I sort of feel like her ability to analyze it at that level proves that she actually is that mature, or pretty close to it. And I did eventually manage to get her to join her class photo by a dramatic speech about how I will always regret not being in my sixth grade photo because I was embarrassed about my braces… while it may not be technically true, it was rather effective.

Ugh, and now it’s 7:30 and I’m still not at home, because stupid Lehman college is making me take a neuroscience class that goes from 6 to 9 as part of my science certification. Apparently my degree in neuroscience from MIT is not sufficient for their rigorous standards… The professor spent the first fifteen minutes explaining how we’re going to have to read journal articles for homework, and then asked us to raise our hands if we’ve ever read a journal article before. It was pretty funny, because you could instantly tell which half of the room is TFA people and which half is actual Lehman graduate students by who raised their hands and looked exasperated, and who looked incredulously around the room at all the people with raised hands. Yes, I am an elitist jerk.

Not that I’ve been on a break from teaching, but this week my graduate studies unfortunately resume. Unlike last semester, when I had one class and its sole requirement was that I be physically present, this semester I have to take three classes. Lehman College, as prestigious as it is (it advertises itself on the subway!), is not exactly renowned for its academic rigor, but three is more than one and now I have to stay in the Bronx until 9:00 pm every Tuesday. Blargh.

On the bright side, only fourteen more school days until midwinter recess!

Also, if you haven’t done so, you should read the comments on yesterday’s post - apparently my younger sister is a rap maven.

I hope you all appreciate my brilliant and hilarious title - while some may claim that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, I think anyone who has experienced my punnery skills would disagree.

Today was the much-anticipated field trip to see “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.” While I’m pretty sure that it was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, the trip itself was pretty fun. Getting the 240 middle schoolers to and from the theater via subway was somewhat stressful, but when we were actually at the theater it was pretty fun to relax and enjoy the day out with my students. Also, it sure beat trying to get them to sit still and learn after a long, stressful week of testing.

On the way back from the theater, several of my students got into a “rap off” with each other. However, unlike when they get into a dance off and I am actually impressed by their skills, the rap off was pretty pathetic. Maybe its because of their low literacy levels, but my students really cannot come up with good rap disses. Some examples:

You think you so fly, but really you not

I saw you at the store, you was buying some socks!

You standing there in you stupid gray sweater

Where did you get that, Mr. Etter?

You think you so cool with your Marmot jacket

But  I see you and I know you ain’t

When I pointed out that the last one didn’t even rhyme, the student decided to rap diss me. The best he could come up with was:

You standing there wearing your mittens

But I ain’t even seen them

I was tempted to reply with something along the lines of:

If you don’t get your shit together and stop failing my class

You’ll be living on the street and broke off your ass

…but then I thought that might be a little too harsh.

I got to spend another relaxing three periods administering the ELA test to my four ELLs this morning, I’m really catching up on my reading list! Too bad standardized testing is over until the math test in March now…

There was one exciting blip in the testing calm, though… Right after my group finished the first section of the test (thank God it wasn’t during the test, those four needed all the time they could get) there was an outburst of screaming and banging in the hall outside our room. At first I thought we would just wait it out, but it kept going on, and on, and on… Finally, after at least two full minutes had elapsed, I poked my head out into the hall just in time to see the school police officer hauling away a giant (like, at least 300 pounds) kicking and screaming eighth-grader. According to Ms. L, who had been on hall monitor duty at the time, he had gotten freaked out by the test and decided that the best course of action was to flip his desk and pin another kid on the floor while attempting to suffocate him. I can’t quite follow the logic, but I guess he did succeed in getting out of having to finish the test.

Since day two of the test is much shorter than day one, I had a regular teaching schedule in the afternoon. We are learning about the periodic table and metals vs. nonmetals, so we did the classic “put random junk between a battery and a lightbulb to see if it conducts” lab. I gave each group a bag of various materials (aluminum foil, wooden dowels, plastic paper clips, metal paper clips…) and asked them to try and figure out what the difference was between the things that conducted and the things that didn’t - and I was so excited when every single group figured out that things made of metal conduct, and things not made of metal don’t! Granted, some groups required a little coaxing (one insisted that the rule was “grey things conduct,” until I showed them that a grey sweatshirt doesn’t conduct), but I was still really impressed. At this point I should give a special shout out to my awesome boyfriend for taking advantage of MIT’s resources and making me a very nice class set of conductivity-testers (seen here without the required battery, but you get the idea):

I think the kids were suitably impressed by the professional-looking nature of the alligator clips.

Also, I followed in Ms. L’s footsteps and intercepted an awesome note today, from a boy to a girl. It was not quite so eloquent as the one she got yesterday, but I think its concise, to-the-point nature is admirable: “Touch my dyk.” Lovely.

As a reward for all the testing, the entire seventh and eighth grade is (are?) going to the movies tomorrow! I’m excited to get a day off from regular teaching, but slightly nervous about taking 250 middle schoolers to see “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.”

Today was the first day of the super high-stakes NYC English Language Arts exam. If kids don’t pass, they don’t go on to the next grade - regardless of trivial little complications like whether or not English is their first language or if they have a learning disability. No wonder two kids were in tears from the stress before the exam even began.

To add to the fun, somehow no one at the school noticed until this morning that we didn’t have enough test booklets for the seventh grade, and we didn’t have any booklets for the eighth grade. So the kids had to spend an awkward hour sitting in testing position while we waited for someone to drive to the testing headquarters, pick up extra tests, and drive back. Thankfully I didn’t have to proctor (and therefore keep occupied for that hour) a whole class - just four ELL (English Language Learner) students who get extra time. Once the test finally started, I got to read a book and occasionally update the time remaining on the blackboard. I wish we got to give standardized tests every day!

On an unrelated, yet hilarious, tangent, Ms. L intercepted what is quite possibly the best note in the history of middle school note-passing the other day:

Boy: How’s it goin? hmmm?

Girl: Good U?

Boy: Im fine so how ya day?

Girl: gud what bout urs Ms Ls class is f-ing boring

Boy: sumtimes its fun just not today and Im good

Girl: Ohh! LOL She tlkstomuch

Boy: lolz u think she got a bf?

Girl: Nahh no one gunna like her LOL!

Boy: lolz she will get drunk and still wont get lucky lolz

Girl: LOL! Yup Maybe a bum would date her

Boy: lolz he gonna want rocks instead of her lolz!!

Girl: Yup I noe

Boy: lolz so who u goin prom wit?

Girl: IDK my friends U?

You can see a scan of the actual note at Ms. L’s roommate’s blog, it’s currently on their refrigerator.

It’s always rough waking up to go back to school after a three day weekend, but it was made a little easier today by the knowledge that the entire school would be taking a break from business as usual at 11:30 to watch the inauguration. Given how excited the kids were the day after the election, I was disappointed that so few of them actually paid attention to the ceremony and the speech - most of them spent the hour doodling, passing notes, and napping. It’s like they love Obama in theory, because he looks kind of like them, but they aren’t at all interested in any of the things he stands for - hard work, dedication, not randomly punching people in the face… Yes, his election proves that anyone can be elected president regardless of race, but it doesn’t prove, like so many of my kids claim, that anyone can be elected president - you can’t fail seventh grade three times in a row because you miss over 20 days of school before January*, for instance, and still expect to make it to the White House.

On a completely unrelated note, I was really tickled today to find out that one of my students went home last week and mixed baking soda and vinegar in her kitchen to replicate our in-class experiment. Today we made a seven layer density column in class, I hope her parents don’t hate me too much after she tries that one at home…
*I have not one, but two girls in this situation.

I’ve started to realize that many of my students respond to sarcasm and teasing better than they respond to straightforward orders. For instance, today Troy smacked Nadeira in the face for no particular reason, and she jumped up screaming “He violated my face! He violated my face! I’m going to violate HIS face!” She got ready to punch him back, and whereas before I would have just ineffectually yelled at her to stop as I watched a fight happen, instead I calmly remarked, “Nadeira, you can’t violate something that’s already that hideous.” Much laughing and “ooooo”-ing ensued, but a fight did not.
I was also really tickled this morning when a student wrote me a little note on his Do Now:

“Ms. Rubin, who were the first two people on Earth? TURN OVER FOR THE ANSWER”

And on the back:

“Atom and Eve.”

It doesn’t really have anything to do with atoms, but still… He thought up a science-themed joke, and he wrote it to me as a note! That’s certainly more rewarding than being licked.