rubinc in nyc!

I stayed after school today to watch the Shawshank Redemption with Miranda today, and man that movie is awesome. I think the part where the warden throws the rock at the poster gets better every time I see it… Miranda loved it too, she told me it reminded her of a book she read once, “The Count of Monte Cristo, have you ever read it?”

I am super excited on the Miranda front, because for awhile now I have been working to get her set up with the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth. It’s a really great program for gifted middle schoolers, where they can take online classes during the year and spend the summer living on a college campus and taking classes. I participated in it as a young nerdlet, and spent one summer during college working at the summer program as an RA. It’s a great opportunity for smart kids to get to do work that actually challenges them, but I think the most important part is meeting other smart kids over the summer and finding out that you’re actually not an alien species - something that is even less obvious to Miranda than it was to me in middle school, given her surroundings.

Anyways, it’s been kinda tricky figuring out the financial aid, and it didn’t look like we’d be able to get her registered to take the qualifying test before the June test date, which would be too late for her to go there this summer. But I just talked to the CTY outreach guy on the phone today, and he said that they’re having a special extra test day March 20, and Miranda can take it then! As long as she scores well enough, she could go to the program this summer!

So we’re going to spend every lunch period between now and March 20 doing ACT practice tests, eee! I know that Miranda is definitely smart enough to excel in the program, my only worry is that I know urban students tend to not do very well on standardized tests. Only thirteen school days to get ready, wish us luck!

I was surprised to see Jorge, who is normally very shy and never talks, learning over and talking to Zumaya in the middle of class. I called his name to get his attention, but he was so startled that he simultaneously jumped back and accidentally hit the release button on his umbrella, such that it shot up from the general area of his groin. I had to chomp down on my tongue to keep from laughing - luckily none of the kids noticed.

I guess I should lay off complaining about how immature my students are for awhile…

…because today is the SECOND SNOW DAY IN ONE YEAR! This is unprecedented in NYC history - today is only the fourth snow day in the past six years. The snow also canceled the parent-teacher conferences that were supposed to happen last night. I like to think that it is my karmic repayment for that kid puking yesterday.

I’m off to enjoy my surprise three-day weekend by going back to sleep for the day!

After a year and a half of teaching, a kid spontaneously puked at my feet today.

That is all I have to say.

Today we learned about the skeletal system. I had to shoot down about a million “boner” jokes, ranging from the subtle (”are there certain bones that can grow really fast?”) to the not (”BOYS HAVE A BONE IN THEIR PENIS!”). Ugh.

On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve been spending lunch with Miranda recently because, shockingly  enough, she doesn’t really fit in with or enjoy the hormonal jungle of the cafeteria. She’s been bringing in her various textbooks (yes, textbooks, many of them introductory college level) so we can go over the practice problems in the back - this week it’s astronomy. Her favorite TV show, which she raves about as if it is the most hilarious thing to ever exist, is The Andy Griffith Show (she thinks that current shows are too slapstick and/or trashy to be funny). On Friday she’s staying after school for popcorn and a move - not Twilight, not G Force, and not even X Men, the other kid favorite. Give up? The Shawshank Redemption.

The one drawback to offering kids popcorn and a movie as an incentive is that you end up having to watch a lot of lame movies - I have seen Twilight five times, which I’m pretty sure would be more effective than waterboarding at getting suspected terrorists to talk.

Anyways, I stayed after today to watch G-Force (only for the third time), and I have to say that it’s growing on me. It has Will Arnett as an FBI agent, and Tracy Morgan as the voice of one of the hamsters (guinea pigs?). I think I like watching it so much because the whole time I’m just thinking of this 30 Rock episode.

Also, I forgot to mention this yesterday, but one of the first graders came back from break with a mohawk. His teacher complimented him on it and said “You look just like Mr. T!” His neighbor looked confused for a second, then corrected her “No, he looks like Mr. M, for mohawk!”

After having an awesome break and getting the BEST VALENTIME EVER, I was feeling pretty relaxed heading into school today. I just had a great vacation, there’s only five weeks until spring break, in general there’s a lot to be happy about…

Until I got to school and saw That Jackass Tito, of brought-a-gun-into-school fame, is back. Apparently his suspension is over, not that anyone gave us a heads up about his return. Remember how I was slightly bummed because he got suspended along with a kid I like? Having the good kid back is totally not worth having to put up with TJT in the classroom again. I’m having trouble thinking of anything that would be worth having TJT in the classroom, actually… maybe Bill Nye showing up and handing me a million dollars, but anything short of that wouldn’t even come close.

You might think that being suspended for three months, getting a criminal record, and having any chance of getting into a decent high school ruined would be enough to motivate most kids to get their act together, but TJT came back worse than when he left. The teachers who had him first and second period were so appalled that they went to the AP about his behavior, and so the AP decided to drop in and check up on him later in the day. Thankfully he walked into my class just in time to see me ask (for the third time) TJT to take off his hat and TJT respond by getting an inch away from my face and screaming “WHAT?!?!?!” I didn’t realize the AP had just walked in, but before I had time to collect myself and respond, he swooped in and grabbed TJT for the rest of the day. I don’t know if that means he’ll be out of class tomorrow, but I’m praying that if he’s dumb enough to act like this on his first day back, maybe he’ll be dumb enough to bring another weapon to school and get kicked out for good…

I know I don’t usually post during breaks, but look what a student just emailed me!!!

(I found out today that pretty much all my bilingual students think that’s what the holiday is called.)

I really hate Valentine’s Day at school (or in this case the Friday before Valentine’s Day), because the kids are all running around exchanging carnations and cheap chocolate and are just completely cracked out on middle school love. All the girls dress up in elaborate pink and red Valentine’s ensembles and compete over who can accumulate the most goodies, while all the boys wrestle with their competing desires to snag a hot Valentine and not to be seen carrying anything pink and adorable.

I got one Valentine from a kid, which was nice, and a bunch of kids asked me if Bill Nye and I had exchanged gifts. When I said no, one kid was shocked - “But how could he not like you? You have such a nice figure; not too big, not too small, just right!” I guess I should be flattered?

Anyway, next week is midwinter vacation, and I’m planning to spend the entire time in my pajamas pining over Bill Nye. I’ll be back on the 22nd!

In addition to being the BEST SNOW DAY EVER, yesterday was also supposed to have been Wacky Wednesday for spirit week. Today was Career Day, and since the students weren’t allowed to dress up as rappers or sports stars they mostly dressed very formally (some even in suits!) as doctors, lawyers, businesspeople, etc… You know, because none of those jobs require doing homework or having the ability to go five minutes without throwing a paper ball across the room.

Anyway, remember Shadasia from last year? In keeping with my belief that she should be the spunky female lead in her own Disney show, she assumed that Wacky Wednesday would be pushed back a day instead of canceled because of the snow, and showed up this morning in a wacktastic outfit. The effect was amplified by the fact that all the other students were wearing suits and other formal clothing, making her multi-colored craziness even more conspicuous. She was mortified, and I could hear her meltdown from down the hall in my room. It all worked out okay, though, because her mom brought her a new outfit to change into. I think if she really was a Disney character she would have had to wear the wacky outfit all day, but would play it cool like she was actually dressed up as a fashion designer for career day, and then we all would have learned a valuable lesson about appearances and self-confidence and sparkles.